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When Your Family Isn’t On Board With Your New Healthy Lifestyle

 

New Healthy Lifestyle-2

What do you do when the people you live with just aren’t interested in changing their ways? When you’re all “Gung-Ho” into your new, healthier way of eating and living, and your peeps are like “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

It can be challenging for sure.

If you’ve ever experienced this, I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. This is a very common theme, especially for women. You’re the caretaker of the family, so naturally you want to take care of everyone else, even at the detriment of yourself sometimes. I often hear from clients (and people in general) “I really wish my husband [kids] would start eating healthier”.

And sometimes they quit on themselves because they couldn’t get the whole family to cooperate.

No doubt, it’s challenging when everyone else in your house has no interest in changing their ways. And even more frustrating when you know they NEED to change, but they just won’t do it.

But we all know that we can’t change other people, even if it’s our closest family members.

Knowing a thing is much easier than DOING a thing though, isn’t it?

  • We know we can’t make them eat healthier, but we try our hardest to convince them why they need to change.
  • We know we can’t make them exercise more, but we keep dropping subtle (and not so subtle) hints about how great they’ll feel if they do.
  • We know we can’t make them [insert here what you’ve tried before, but it didn’t work], but we keep on trying to convince them they need to.

Here’s the thing: No one changes until they’re ready. Have you ever had someone try to pressure you into doing something that takes you outside of your comfort zone? How did you react? Did you jump on board right away, or did you kinda pull back and say “Hmmm…I’m not so sure about that”? I’ll take a wild guess and say it was probably the latter.

But there is hope!

There’s something much easier that you CAN do to help get your family on board with you so everyone can live happily (and healthfully) ever after.

All you need to do is model what is possible for them.

Yep. You need to stay the course and don’t give up on your own goals. Give them the “social proof” that they need so they can feel confident about what they’re jumping into when they decide to leave their comfort zone.

Most of us need proof that something works, that it’s a tried and true thing, before we jump on board to something new. Otherwise, why take the risk? Why leave the zone of comfort for something that’s unsure and unproven to work?

So when it comes to your family, it’s your time to shine for them.

Model for them what is possible when they finally decide to take the leap towards living a healthier lifestyle. I can almost guarantee you that they’ll become curious and then want to have what you have, too. I’ve seen it work like a charm over and over again.

Forcing, coercing, convincing, nagging, dragging or anything else that’s incredibly annoying and off-putting will only get you the opposite of what you want for them. So just let it go and focus on yourself for the time being.

That doesn’t mean you can’t invite your husband for an evening bike ride or encourage your kids to try the kid-friendly summer salad instead of having McD’s. If they say “yes”, SCORE! If they say “no, thanks”, just keep on keeping on. Their response isn’t about you, so don’t take it personally.

So what do you think? Can you be the change you want to see in your family? Let me know how you plan to take on this challenge in the comments below!

And if you’re having challenges with staying the course yourself, let’s talk it out. Schedule your own “Getting Acquainted Call” HERE. I’m here to help!

Categories: Improved Health

{ 8 comments… add one }
  • Whitney Ryan September 2, 2016, 7:17 am
    This is such a great article, Christine! It's hard to make healthy choices when others around you don't share your excitement for them. When I went vegetarian years ago, my boyfriend made it crystal clear that he wasn't going to make that lifestyle choice with me. It was hard in the beginning and took some getting used to...for both of us. But after a while, when he saw that I wasn't just eating salad all day every day and saw how good I felt eating plant-based, he warmed up to the idea. Now he pretty much eats vegetarian with me at home, and only gets meat dishes when we're out at restaurants. I think the main thing is to see it as a transition. It's going to be a little rocky in the beginning, but you eventually fall into the new normal.
    • Christine Dyan September 6, 2016, 11:49 am
      What a great testimony, Whitney! And proof that modeling what's possible for others really works. Thanks for sharing your story! :-)
  • Jessie Ford Coots September 2, 2016, 8:09 am
    You're so right, Christine! KNOWING what you need to do is still so different from actually DOING it. Having the discipline to physically make yourself eat better, exercise, etc. is challenging enough, let alone getting your family on board with you. "Modeling what is possible" as you put it is super important. You can't force someone to do something they don't want to do. Patience is key! :)
    • Christine Dyan September 6, 2016, 11:41 am
      You're so right, Jessie! You can't force anyone to do anything, so you may as well use that energy on yourself. :-)
  • Libby September 2, 2016, 9:43 am
    This is such a real struggle Christine. I'm so glad you're calling attention to it. Sometimes leading by example can be more exhausting than nagging - because of the frustration that it doesn't feel like you're actively "doing" anything to help others. BUT you are so right. It's a much better road for everyone - even if it does take patience and faith :) Thanks for sharing.
  • Jessica September 2, 2016, 10:32 am
    Ooooh, this is such a juicy topic! And something I'm sure everyone has experienced. And not just with family, but friends as well! Thanks so much for this shift in perspective. Usually I'd feel the pressure to give up and go back to "normal" - but this way of thinking about it actually makes me feel empowered. Thanks!
    • Christine Dyan September 6, 2016, 11:39 am
      I'm so glad this helped you Jessica. I always say a shift in perspective make a world of difference! :-)

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3dbook_dessertisessentialGRAB A COPY OF my delicious ebook, “Dessert is Essential: How to Have Your Cake & Eat It, Too, in Life and in Health"

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